If someone asked you what was most important to you, how would you reply? I’ve been through so much and it seems that during those dark days only one thing really matters. Friends. They may be more specifically family members, but can you honestly say you’d be who you are today without a few friends along the way? I don’t think so. In fact, I highly doubt I would be here at all if it wasn’t for the friends who supported me. We often forget that our friends are there when all we can talk about is that guy who is tall and smart and has the most gorgeous eyes. Over and over we tell them about the stupid conversation we had with him. Somehow we manage to discuss those 20 seconds for the next 45 minutes and our best friends don’t mind. They don’t tell us to shut up already, because you already explained how he seems to try to exit the building at the exact moment as you and finds reasons to talk to you although you don’t really have anything to talk about. I suppose that I have been extremely lucky. In 23 years I have never lost a friend. Perhaps we don’t talk as much as we used to and we live too far away to jump in a car and drive to the mall, but no I can’t say I ever broke up with any of my friends. At least not until now.
About 3 weeks ago I noticed that one of my best friends “unfriended” me on Facebook. I know its silly. Everyone says that it was probably just an accident. However, I still haven’t heard anything back from her. I wrote her a short message inquiring about the incident and finally called her a couple days ago when she failed to reply. I even sent a text to her twin just to try and figure something out. Nothing. I can’t imagine what I must have done. Did I offend her in some way? My hope is that she inadvertently deleted me and has been too busy at work to respond, but her “Wall” suggests differently. It doesn’t feel like an accident. It feels like crap. It makes me sad that after ten years of friendship I’m not going to be a part of her life. As I type tears interrupt the steady tapping of keys and I have to get up to grab some tissues.
The harsh reality starts to sink in. Lots of people get in fights with friends and go their separate ways. Its a fact of life. I just wasn’t ready for it. Maybe its harder because I’ve been left without any explanation. I don’t know what to think. Over that last week my mind has tried and failed to create a logical explanation.
I am at a loss that cannot be replaced.