I’m going to do something I rarely do, because god-damn-it I was pissed off last night. The following is more or less the latest entry from my diary. So this isn’t going to have a filter…everything I say is straight from the pent up emotion I allowed to steep before getting home and writing it out. Will I regret writing this? Probably. But I think it needs to be said and I won’t be apologizing later. This is my blog and if you don’t want to read it anymore then don’t. I’m not addressing the general public. I’m referencing this mystery man…the one who left me three clues and then bolted. Oh, and just because I’m writing this to you doesn’t make you special! Here it goes:
About 4 months ago someone contacted me through this blog. He said he had a big crush on me since high school. He gave me some clues about himself and from what I can tell all signs point to….(boy’s name)….He’s pretty good looking actually and amazingly my type but here’s the problem. He also let slip that he’s with someone. How screwed up is that? So I thought well no big deal, he’ll break up with her, tell me who he is, no problem. I overestimate the Boys ability to conquer. He’s still with this girl and shows no sign of a break up. Is it wrong for me to wish he would? Am I being selfish? He hasn’t contacted me since he gave me the clues and I should just let it go but it’s aggravating. Why bother to give someone false hope and then ignore them? I’m a big girl just tell me what the hell is going on! So the reason I say all this now is because I actually saw this Boy while I was in Starbucks yesterday. Sat right in front of me and not so much as a wave. You think it’s my responsibility to initiate contact? I’m not even supposed to know who you are. Well hello to you too! I can deal with being single, it suits me just fine, but why lead someone on and say how you feel and then just disappear off the face of the Earth? You are lucky Boy. You have all the power to reveal all that you wish and take zero-responsibility. Don’t bother telling me you’ve decided to call it all off, because that is what logical people do. I’ll take your silence as a clue that I clearly don’t belong in your life. Oh, and by the way…next time you find yourself in a similar situation spare the girl the trouble and keep your mouth shut!
I can’t believe I was sucked into this crap. Hannah said from the beginning that he was just messing with my head. I should have ignored this boys stupid clues. He doesn’t want anything to come from it, he’s playing the field, clearing his conscience, getting rid of his little secret so he doesn’t have to carry it around with him. I’m his backup plan in case things don’t work out with this other girl. I’ll have you know that someday I will find someone great and when you see what you’ve missed out on, you’ll be sorry you passed up the chance you had.