Motives

With the holidays just about over, I feel just a little relieved. I like to have some type of rhythm in my life. I gave up my continuing search for jeans. Banana Republic let me down, the 26 is too small and 28 too large…and of course 27 was nowhere to be found.

Sorry, I just spent five minutes looking at myself in the mirror. My new headphones are sort of amazing. They are shaped like goldfishes, but I call them my babblefishes! I can’t even see them from the distance across the room. That wasn’t really the point.

The visit to my sister’s new house was a little different than I expected. Jenna bought a new house just about a year ago.  I couldn’t take time off to see it this summer so it’s great I finally made it over. Of all my sister’s, Jenna and I fight the most. Before you start getting any wild ideas, let me explain.

Growing up with a bunch of girls is really fun. Sure we get touchy about stupid things, but we always worked it out. I don’t feel like I ever needed a big brother to fight my battles on the playground. In fact, I have no problem giving someone a good kick if I think they need it. Still, the biggest problems easily escalate with Jenna and I in particular.

The hard part about growing up is that you are expected to act a little more civilized in arguments. I hate this approach, if I feel strongly about something I tend to start yelling. I’m quiet most of the time, but it really annoys me if someone takes advantage of that to manipulate the situation. Also, I think the build up of emotion just gets me more pissed off. It’s not a perfect reaction to everyday problems…but get over it…I’m not perfect.

Being perfect sucks. You never get what you want. You just become a mixture of goody-too-shoe and doormat. Sorry, but everyone has their faults and you can’t let people push you around just because you are little. Besides all that feminine energy has to go somewhere. It’s either a bunch of drama (we will later laugh about) or six weeks of anger you try to convert into exercise. Trust me, I can’t afford to loose any more weight. I burn calories worrying about how to ask out all those secret boyfriends, which isn’t even a valid emotion.

It’s past my new school bedtime. Sweet Dreams..Lilac!

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