Hours

I’ve spent the last week organizing my life. Everything started with writing all my passwords for websites. I thought this would make me remember them better, surprisingly this is not the case. I’m amazed that after typing every user name onto a neat sheet of paper I have confused myself more. Over time I’m certain it will actually help, but right now I can’t keep any of the passwords straight. I will say that I have an ingenious name for this collection that took me an entire day to create but divulging such private information over the internet  is not wise.

My other ways to help myself regain control in my life are simple things. Despite the fact that I decided to take this quarter off, I am trying to complete notes for the classes I started. I will likely have the same teachers in my HMT (hospitality management) classes, so I can get a head start on homework as well. I finally bought new binders, I’ve had the same ones since 8th grade. Whatever I can do to make next quarter easier should amount in better grades and less stress.

My mood is not exactly back on track. I have what feels like artificial feelings. I’ve been a little overly emotional and it doesn’t quite feel like my personality. Tomorrow I’ll be back at work and everyone will be asking a lot of questions. Questions I don’t want to answer. Genuine concern from my co-workers is normal and actually comforting, but the majority of the time I either say more than I care to, or I downplay my degree of illness. This is going to sound negative but I’ll add that there is another group of people that are just too nosey and will likely gossip about what I say to every ear that listens. The fact that I’ve been out of work for a couple of weeks is more than enough to make people more curious. They may formulate ideas for why I have been away and I’ve realized that any rumors are not worth the worry.

I’m trying to get some things cleaned up around the house before my mom gets home. We are planned to run today. I’m certain I’ll be exhausted and I guess that’s how I like things. The time I spend thinking about what I want to do would be better spent actually achieving these goals but I have a lot more waiting before I can move forward.

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