Music Geek

I know I’ve mentioned that I frequently find myself falling for the musicians, so I’ll be brief in my explanation of the two other boys I didn’t introduce before. Ned and Owen are both my a-typical choices. They have darker hair and although I wouldn’t go so far as to say they are short they are certainly not towering over me. They are also as I mentioned before musically inclined. Ned I have been stupid over for longer than either Owen or Jack. Longer than any sane person should like someone. I frequently have to shut myself up whether I am updating friends or my journal. It’s ridiculous to expect anything to happen with the relationship because if Ned actually felt half of what I felt for him he’d have made a move three years ago. I met Ned at the grocery store I work at. He immediately became my favorite part of the day and I looked forward to working with him. We started to chat frequently throughout the rest of high school and have loosely kept in touch since then. He made me a CD once of music he likes and thought I would, it remains one of my favorites to date. My most daring moment with him was to ask him to homecoming, he couldn’t go because his band was playing that night, however I asked him very early if he would go to prom and he accepted. I think his feelings for me are platonic at least that’s how he has represented himself. I also know he is shy; I guess he could feel differently but he has never pushed the subject. I still enjoy seeing him at work (interesting how we both kept working in the same place, at least when he comes home in summer). He goes to school in Chicago. During the school-year I try to focus on men who are actually in the general vicinity but inevitably he comes home and I go gaga over him again. I think I am way too patient or something because as much as I realize little is going to happen in this stalemate I am still unable to let go as with most other men I’ve desired. I deserve better than the polite conversation but perhaps it is I who have kept this relationship from moving forward. I don’t like to make things awkward and if I was more assertive it could make things very strange should he not feel anything for me. It’s quite tragic but maybe I’ll get over it this year.

Owen is a relatively new guy in my life. He isn’t even a friend really. He is just a cute guy I’ve known for at least a couple of years due to my coffee addiction. Yes, he works at Starbucks. What a convenient way to run into someone more than twice a week, assuming I get coffee regularly. I found out he has a band when eavesdropping his conversation to the person in front of me. I wasn’t really being nosy, he just mentioned it to a person and I was within earshot. He complemented a couple of my outfits about 3 weeks ago and I was excited about that but then realized he probably does that for the tips. Sure enough while I was in there another time he complemented a different girl’s dress and she was definitely too young for him so he’s just very friendly. Not a bad quality at all.

Alright enough about the boys I probably won’t go out with. I need to go shower and look pretty.

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