I’m usually quite happy with calm and simple existence, but do you ever want your whole life to go up in flames? I do. There should be some occasional sparks to keep you on your toes. Without the drama and ridiculous moments life can get pretty boring. So we create drama and maybe even outdo ourselves to feign a glamorous embellished persona. As someone who has actually had all the drama I’ll ever want, it is easier to appreciate the slow normal times. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t pass up a chance to be more exciting but I hope the excitement will be more positive than the dark places I went down without any kind of road-map. I think that having such negative experiences early in life will keep me that much the wiser. There are always moments when it’s hard to determine what the best choice is or if such a best choice exists.
Example: I could wait to travel until after I complete a bachelors program. However, with smart planning and continuing to work, I will gain experience that is not available from something as straightforward as education. It is still in fact education to travel since the foods I discover and time I spend learning independently could be more enlightening than the limited view one gets in classroom discussions. I will also be able to form connections with others that can help further my career. I think both choices offer different things but obviously travel is more exciting than wishing I was on a plane to Italy or France.
Aside from school I am hoping for a better personal life in the years to come. It has taken a while to get acquainted with the new students since I took a year off. I mostly mingle with my best friends from high school, which is fine except that I don’t see them when we are all at different colleges most of the year. I don’t feel the need for any big romantic attachments although I am not opposed to it. Right now I am set for anything. I could do with a few more big events but I try to remind myself that this is my life right now. It is not so important what will be going on in a year or two because this is the time I have in front of me. I think it is easy to want to know what is next. We all forget that there is time to dream and then you have to just start living in the moment. We push to see what is next but remembering you can only take control of the time in front of you is something I find very important. I don’t want to experience anything that could be happening in 20 years, I want to take comfort in the joy each day brings as I grow each day into someone I may not have been the day before.
To me, the fireworks are those times you picture in your mind and each moment plays out with the same detail as the day it all began.